The Crazy Dare
by poetic heart 75
Summary: Dean Ambrose Speed dating? Yeah, that's going to be hilarious. Just read and see what happens.
1. Chapter 1

The Crazy Dare

Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins are having some down time at a bar in New Orleans. They're standing around a pool table playing when Seth gets an idea in his head that he thinks is really funny. He looks at Dean and starts laughing out loud at his evil scheme he is silently plotting.

Dean: "What the hell is so funny, Rollins? I can tell you're up to no good by that look on your face. You mind as well spill it now."

Seth: "Oh, you'll find out soon enough."

Roman: "Are you still trying to come up with a good dare from that bet earlier tonight?"

Seth: "I have a good dare from that bet earlier tonight."

Roman: "Nothing is going to top daring you to run around the hotel in those green underwear of yours."

Seth: "I'm pretty sure this will be just as embarrassing and just as weird."

Dean: "That was a good one, Ro. I have to hand it to you."

Roman: "Thank you, my man."

He raises his beer and Dean clinks his bottle with Romans. Seth shakes his head.

Seth: "If I beat you, you have to go speed dating."

Dean: "Who? Who has to go speed dating?"

Seth: "If I beat you, Dean. You have to go speed dating at a place of my choice."

Dean: "And how the hell are you going to find some where to go speed dating? We leave here Friday."

Seth: "This is Wednesday. It shouldn't be that hard to do. That's why it's called speed dating. You're in and out in 10 minutes."

Roman: "Yeah, but there's a lot of bad experiences in those 10 minutes. You're judging someone simply by having them sit across from you at the table. No background checks. No talking to them before they come to the table and you can't turn anyone away. You have to give them the full 10 minutes."

Dean: "10 minutes isn't that long. You guys make it sound like I'm going to be there 10 years. So I have to talk to a couple of crazy cat ladies. Maybe I might find a good woman in the batch of nuts."

Seth: "We'll find out soon enough because I'm about to clear the table one more time."

He takes his last shot and knocks the last of the solid balls into the side pocket of the table. Dean is staring at the table amazed that he did that one more time.

Dean: "You've got to be fucking kidding me. There is no way in hell you did that twice in a row. You have to have this rigged."

Seth: "Nope. Sorry there is no way to rig a pool game. You just have to have skills."

Dean: "I have skills. You just rigged this so I have to go on this lame ass speed dating thing of yours."

Seth: "I came up with that idea at the last minute. It's all right. You lost fair and square. Be a good sport."

Dean: "Yeah. I'm going to be a really good sport."

He flips him off and Roman starts laughing.

Roman: "Chill out ladies. It's just a game. It's not like he hooked you up with some random ugly chick at the table."

Meanwhile, at a farm house across town, Anna and her best friend Lea are looking at a computer web site.

Anna: "This is lame as hell. We are grown ass women. Why are we looking at speed dating sites?"

Lea: "Because we are tired of being all alone out here by ourselves. I don't want to die a damn 40 year old virgin."

Anna: "You're not 40 or a virgin."

Lea: "You know what I mean besides maybe I'll find someone like Roman Reigns in the Royal Rumble commercial."

Anna starts busting up laughing.

Anna: "Yeah right. Men that look like that don't go to lame ass speed dating events in New Orleans, Louisiana. Men that look like that are married with kids of their own to take care of. You might find a single version of Rollins or Ambrose."

Lea: "I'll take it. Just as long as the first guy doesn't kick his feet up on the table and tell me he's the best in the world."

Anna: "You do realize real speed dating is nothing like that, right?"

Lea: "One can hope. I don't want to go into this event and see a bunch of men old enough to be my father or grandfather. There have to be some young good looking single guys out there."

Anna: "I'm sure there are. So, how exactly are we supposed to answer these questions?"

Lea: "Truthfully and hope they aren't lying about half of what they post on here."

Anna: "That's a chance we take with this. "Hi I'm Anna and I like walks on the beach, soft kisses and warm hugs."

She rolls her eyes out of frustration. Lea is laughing at her.

Lea: "You sound like a bad Disney cartoon. "I'm all about just us."

Anna: "Oh hell no. I'd be running so far away from that cheese. I don't care who you are or how hot you are. That's just bad."

Lea: "Well, in order to weed out the rats you have to use the right bait."

She fills out the questionnaire for both of them and submits it to the site.

Lea: "Well, we'll find out tomorrow at 8 if we used the right bait or not."

Anna: "Yeah and someone with brains I hope and not obsessed with them self.

Lea: "No joke."

Meanwhile, Seth is surfing around the web and lands on a speed dating event that is at a near- by lounge. He submits Dean's information without Dean having any idea what he wrote or what the questions even were. The next day,

Seth: "Come on, Ambrose. You can't welsh on our bet."

Dean: "I was drunk last night. Last night was the time to do it not today."

Seth: "Well, the event wasn't until tonight. So, that wasn't going to work out. Now, put on some nice clothes and humor me."

Roman: "It'll be fun. You may find someone you actually genuinely like. That's how you can stick it to Seth. He's trying to make fun of you and set you up in a situation where someone will laugh at you and you come out on top with a beautiful woman that you actually like."

Dean: "It's going to take longer than 10 minutes to find someone I actually like."

Roman: "You'll never know unless you try."

Dean sighs exasperated.

Dean: "Fine. God, you two are relentless with this shit. It was a drunken game of truth or dare. It's not that serious."

He goes and puts on a pair of nice black pants and a nice white button up shirt. He looks at himself in the mirror and messes his hair around on his head.

Dean: "All right, I'd date me looking like this. Let's get this over with before I decide to go to New York without you guys."

Roman: "I'll give you a dollar for every woman who says "Oh my God, your Dean Ambrose. What are you doing here?"

Dean: "Oh you're on, brother. You'd better get a lot of dollar bills because I can promise you a lot of women are going to say that and there will probably be more than one Shield reference too."

Seth: "I'd bet more on the Lunatic Fringe and Unstable."

Dean: "Yeah. Two bucks for every reference to Unstable or the Lunatic Fringe."

Roman: "You're on."

He shakes Dean's hand to bind the deal. They leave the hotel and drive over to the Purple Lounge. Seth is actually surprised by the amount of cars that are in the parking lot.

Seth: "Wow, there are a lot more people here than I anticipated."

Roman: "And they don't all look like desperate cat people."

Dean: "The crazy cat lady looks perfectly sane walking alone down the street. It's when you get to her house that you realize there's one too many cats in that front yard."

Roman: "You got this, dude. Trust me."

Dean: "I hope so. Are you two staying out here?"

Roman: "How can I tally up my end of the deal from outside?"

Dean: "True."

He follows Dean inside where there are tables set up all around the room and people mingling around with name tags.

Dean: "Seriously, we have to wear name tags?"

Roman: "How else are you going to remember anyone?"

Dean: "What if I don't want to remember anyone?"

He writes his name on a name tag and sticks it on himself.

Dean: "This is stupid. I'm totally leading anyone in here on and that is not fair to any of these women. Seth doesn't realize he's playing with people's emotions in here."

Roman: "It's not any different than walking into a bar and picking up some random woman."

Dean: "It's totally different then walking into a bar. I'm sober for one thing and for another we're wearing name tags and looking awkward."

Roman: "Well, right now you're looking a little gay. All these women in here and you're chatting with me."

Dean: "It hasn't started yet."


	2. Chapter 2

The host takes her place in the middle of the room.

Host: "Welcome everyone to the Purple Lounge. My name is Cathy and I'll be your host for the evening. The rules of speed dating are everyone gets 10 minutes at a table. When the time is up you'll hear this."

She rings a bell.

Host: "Then you will move to the next table. Write down the names of who you like on your notebook and at the end of the day you can choose one person to take on a date. Happy dating to everyone."

She rings her little bell and everyone goes to their tables. Dean felt like a complete and utter ass walking around trying to figure out which table he wanted to go to first. So, he naturally went and sat at the first awkward looking woman he found. She wore the same expression on her face as he did like she'd been drug there by someone else and really didn't much care if she got someone or not. She had long dark hair and amazing emerald green eyes.

Dean: "Hello beautiful. My name is Jon."

Woman: "Hey Jon. I'm Kat. It's nice to meet you."

She shakes his hand.

Kat: "So, you're a professional wrestler."

Dean: "Yes. I've been wrestling since I was 17."

Kat: "That's cool. I'm a dancer. I've been dancing since I was 6 years old."

Dean: "What made you want to become a professional dancer?"

Kat: "Well, basically it's something I already enjoy doing as a hobby. So, I figured why not go out and get paid for it?"

Dean: "I know, right? I felt the same way about wrestling when I was younger. I wanted to be in the spot light and show everyone that I was better than they ever thought I was. I really wanted to stick it to the people who put me down all my life and called me trouble."

Kat: "So, Dean Ambrose is your ring name and your actual birth name is Jon."

Dean: "Yeah. Basically, they made me change my name once I went pro. I was Jon Moxley on the Indie circuit and when WWE recruited me they had me change it to Dean Ambrose. I didn't want to change it. I wanted to use my real name because it was already established and I had done so much with it. It felt weird starting over with a new ring name. But, it worked out pretty good for me."

Kat: "It's always good when a change works in your favor."

Dean: "Yes it is."

The little bell rings and Dean looked like he didn't want to get up from the table, but he had to follow the rules.

Dean: "It was nice talking to you, Kat. I hope we speak again soon."

He shakes her hand respectfully as he moves to the next table. He could see her making notes in her notebook and smiled to himself. He made his own notes as he sat down with the next woman. This one had beautiful red hair and blue eyes. He could tell looking at her she was from Irish decent.

Dean: "Hello darling. I'm Jon."

Woman: "Kayla. It's nice to meet you Jon."

She smiled shy at him.

Dean: "So, is Kayla an Irish name?"

Kayla: "My family is from Dublin."

Dean: "Dublin is a beautiful place. Have you ever been to Ireland?"

Kayla: "No. I've never been out of the United States, actually."

Dean: "Wow, that's hard to believe. I'd imagine a pretty girl like you would be going all over the world by now with some handsome fellow."

Kayla: "No. You're sweet for saying that though."

Dean: "Thank you.

The little bell rings and he shakes her hand.

Dean: "Good luck tonight."

Kayla: "Thank you, you too."

Well, so far no raging fan- girls freaking out. That's a good sign. It looked like Seth was going to buy the beers after all. He sat at the third table and the blonde on the other side damn near jumped over the table to greet him.

"Oh my God, I don't believe what I am seeing right now."

Dean: "What? What are you seeing sweetheart? Is it really crazy?"

He starts looking around knowing damn well she's talking about him cuz she's looking dead in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'd say it's crazy. I never thought I'd see Dean Ambrose walk into a speed dating place and sit at my table."

Dean: "Wow, you know that guy is an awesome wrestler."

She laughs and Dean does an inward groan. She reminded him of the character Janice on Friends who dated Chandler. There was no way in hell he was hooking up with this woman for anything. Suddenly, 10 minutes drug on for 10 hours.

"I'm such a silly goose. My name is Jessica."

Dean: "Hello Jessica. You obviously know who I am."

Jessica: "Yes. Dean Ambrose, but you're going around introducing yourself as Jon. You know, I have an uncle who name is John and he's got split personalities. They had to lock him up because he kept saying the voices were telling him to do stuff."

Dean: "Do you hear voices that tell you to do stuff?"

Again with that nails on chalk board laugh. He had to take a deep breath to keep from screaming out "Will you PLEASE stop that annoying noise?" Suddenly, his fingers were super interesting.

Jessica: "You're funny. Of course I don't hear voices that tell me to do stuff. I'm not crazy."

Dean: "It's all right if you are. We all have our personality quirks."

Jessica: "You're the Lunatic Fringe. I know you're not actually crazy."

Dean: "Yes. Yes I am actually crazy. I'm as crazy as your uncle who got locked up."

Jessica: "Oh my God. Are you on meds?"

Dean: "Yeah. I got all kinds of them. Sometimes I forget to take them."

Jessica: "That's so scary. How can you forget to take your meds? You need them to keep the voices quiet or you might snap and actually hurt someone for real."

Dean: "I know. But, I feel so unstable when I take them. "

Jessica: "I think you need to go back to your doctor. They obviously don't have the right combination of meds for you."

Dean: "It's all right. They'll get it right."

Finally, the bell rings and Dean about jumps up out of the chair and runs away from this chick. He almost forgot the polite hand shake at the end. He put the biggest X he could possible draw on her info he wrote down. He shuddered as he approached the next table.

"Well hello there."

A warm southern drawl greeted him. This chick is obviously born and raised here in New Orleans. Her accent tells the whole story.

Dean: "Hello to you too. I love your beautiful accent."

"Thank you. I'm born and raised right here in New Orleans."

Dean: "I'm Jon. Born and raised in Cincinnati Ohio."

"I'm Lea. I'm a 29 year old med student at New Orleans University."

Dean: "Wow, a med student. Are we going to be a doctor or a nurse?"

Lea: "I'm going to be a baby doctor. I want to deliver babies."

Dean: "God bless you. I wish I had the attention span for something like that. I get bored in school too easy to go for 8 years."

Lea: "Is it true that you dropped out of high school to become a professional wrestler?"

Dean: "Yes it is true. But, I got my GED and stuff. So, I'm all educated and I have a diploma now. Apparently it's important to have one of those in the business."

Lea: "You don't say."

She leans on the table to show off that she is wearing a low-cut top and Dean, being a man had to look at what she was offering him. He made a mental note of how nice they were and continued to try to be respectful. She smiled when she noticed him do a quick glance down and back up to her face.

Dean: "So, what brings you to speed dating?"

Lea: "I want a companion to share my life with me. I have a dog and now I'm looking for a man who's going to respect me and take care of me like a queen. I'll give him everything he needs as long as he is meeting my needs."

Dean: "I'm sure you will. I have no problem with the queen treatment as long as she knows how to treat me like a king. I believe in a 50/50 relationship."

Lea: "You're preaching to the choir son. I know exactly what you mean."

The little bell goes off and he respectfully shakes her hand. He feels her slip him something and he holds on to it as he walks away from her. He makes notes in his book. So far he was two for three. He unfolded the paper discreetly and noticed she slipped him her phone number. He puts it in his pocket and sits at the next table. The sight on the other side almost made him jump 50 feet in the air. This had to be the tallest woman he'd ever seen in his life. She had to be as tall as he was and she had multicolored hair. He could live with the red, black and blonde hair. He wasn't sure about the whole her being his size thing. How do you check if a woman is indeed a woman in a situation like this?

"Hey there, sexy stud."

The voice sounded female enough. Oh well, he had to entertain her for the next 10 minutes even if his inside alarm was saying "dude, I know she has a dick. That's a transgender woman if I ever saw one." But, what if it wasn't and it was just a really tall woman? Then you'd feel like a douche for judging her.

Dean: "Hello beautiful. Wow, you're almost as tall as I am."

"I'm only 6' and I'm wearing heals too. But, right now you shouldn't be able to tell because I'm sitting down."

Dean: "It's all right. I don't mind that you're tall. I'm Jon."

"I'm Deanna. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Dean: "Likewise."

He shakes her hand. She has a female enough touch. He decided to hold Deanna's hand just so he could see if it matched his or not. She had a wild pink manicure on her long acrylic nails.

Dean: "Nice nails. I like that crazy pink zebra stripe thing they did."

Deanna: "Thank you. Aren't you a charmer?"

Dean: "I hope so. I mean, they only give you 10 minutes and it doesn't seem long enough to get to know anyone."

Deanna: "I know. It's crazy how quick people judge you when you're a big girl like me. They assume I was a man once just because I'm tall."

Dean: "That's so judgmental of them."


End file.
